Living With Autobots
by angel apocalyptica
Summary: Here's a handy guide for those who live with the Autobots. Follow these rules, and Prowl won't have a reason to throw you in the brig. Rated T for colorful language and themes meant mainly for teens. Adopted fic from Sinister Salem.
1. Chapter 1

**Living With Autobots**

**Chapter 1**

**by: angel apocalyptica**

**For all of you who remember this story, it was originally written by SinisterSalem. She gave me the permission to continue this story since she couldn't come up with anything. Enjoy!**

**1. Wheeljack and iPods DON'T mix.**

I accidently left my iPod in the rec room one day.

Wheeljack found it.

He pressed the "play" button.

"Looking for the Perfect" Beat by Afrika Bambaataa blasted at full volume.

Wheeljack freaked out and smashed the iPod.

He still owes me another one.

It's been 2 months.

**2. Don't randomly start a karaoke contest.**

Sideswipe thought it was a good idea at the time.

I went first.

I sung "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse.

Ratchet came in at the part of the song where it says "They're trying to make me go to rehab but I say a no, no , no".

The CMO hauled me off to the Med-bay and called up the local hospital.

The receptionist told him that there wasn't anyone that was supposed to be in the rehab center named Jasper Whitley.

Thank you phone person!

**3. Yo Mama jokes are forbidden.**

I told Sides and Sunny about said jokes.

Two words: BIG MISTAKE.

They both had a yo mama contest.

"Yo mama soooo fat, she was blocking the t.v when she was in the kitchen!"

"Well, yo mama soooo fat that she had to get baptized at Sea World!"

They went back and forth like that for an hour.

Ironhide heard it too.

Oh joy. I wonder what's gonna happen now. (sarcastically)

**4. Sleeping bags are not for hopping around base in.**

Jazz dared me to hop around base in my sleeping bag.

Not FUN!

I kept falling over and landing face first on the ground.

After the fourth time falling, I started whimpering.

Jazz started cracking up when he saw me on the ground.

He also just happened to be filming the entire thing.

I got up and furiously hopped away.

**5. You are not a ghost.**

I went around base one time following random bots around.

"Ooooooo I'm gooooonnnnaaaa coooommee forrr youuuuu tonighttttt!"

(me to Prowl.)

Prowl whipped around and saw me dressed up in a white bed sheet with eyeholes cut out.

He took one look at me and glitched.

I went on to find my next victim.

MHWAAAAAHAAAAA!

**Was it all you thought it was? Was it hilarious or really stupid? Send a review my way and tell me how you thought it was! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Rules for Living with Autobots**

**Chapter 2**

**A/N: **all credit goes to inkdragon13 for #10.

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: **(lays on the floor whining.) Why does today have to be so darn boring? :(

**Wheeljack:** I don't know.

**Me:** Um… do you need any help today? :D

**Wheeljack:** I actually do! You wanna help?

**Me:** Heck yes! (runs off to the lab.) :)

**Wheeljack: **angel apocaylptica does not own the Transformers. If she did, we'd be in some deep slag.

**6. No being bored when Optimus is around.**

I was really bored once.

I went on Google **(on my computer)** and googled "I'm bored"**.**

One of the first results that came up was this one website.**  
**

I visited the site and looked at a bunch of random pics.

Optimus just happened to be hangin' out with me.

He saw an animation of a box of cigarettes turning into a little box robot.

I thought it was really cute.

Then I saw the Decepticon logo.

So did Optimus.

He smashed the computer screen.

I am now currently computerless **AND** iPodless **(still 'Jack?).**

**7. LOLcats is NOT always funny.**

I made the mistake of showing the Chevy twins LOLcats.

Skids found one of a cat wearing a medieval helmet with the caption: I MUST CONTINUE MY QUEST TO SLAY THE RED DOT.

The twins and me thought it was really hilarious.

We looked at them for another hour.

The next day, there was a huge picture of Ratchet crashed out that was hanging up on one of the walls in the rec room.

There was a LOLcat caption with it.

AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCEED, TAKE A NAP AND TRY AGAIN.

The CMO now despises LOLcats.

**8. The bots don't appreciate Charlie the Unicorn.**

"Charlie! We got the amulet! We got the magic amulet sparkle sparkle!**"**

Sam, Sunny, and I were reenacting on of the episodes.

Sam was Charlie and Sunny and I were the other 2 unicorns.

We made a crown for the Banana King too, but it wasn't Charlie.

It was Ironhide.

Sunny put it on him and we all started shouting "It's the Banana King!".

Ironhide wasn't impressed.

'Nuff said.

**9. Movies no bot should watch:**

**- Angels and Demons** (they don't understand the movie.)

**- Joyful Noise** (too much cussing for Optimus.)

**- Snow White and The Huntsman** (too dark for some bots.)

**-Cars** (don't understand why the cars can talk but not have a bipedal mode.)

**10. Don't give Sam Red bull.**

Sam gets very hyper after drinking Red bull.

One time, he drank 4 cans of it.

He was literally bouncing off the walls and running around the whole base at a speed Blurr would be proud of.

It took me a half hour to find him.

Well, Ratchet did that for me.

The CMO had put a straitjacket on him and Sam was mumbling about unicorns playing poker.

Wonderful.

How was this chapter? I think it came together quite nicely, don't you think?

**Send a review my way and tell me how it is. If you thought it was completely horrid, tell me! If it was totally awesome, tell me! Your reviews make my stories better.**

**Peace out for today!**


	3. Chapter 3

Rules for Living with Autobots

Chapter 3

**A/N: sorry I haven't updated in a while and sorry for this chapter for being so freaking short. I've been busy with school lately and haven't had the time to write any more chapters. So with further a do, I present to you Chapter 3! Hey, that partially rhymed! Also, I'm introducing a new OC in this chapter. Her name is Harvey.**

**11. Harvey is not a force to be reckoned with.**

Leo challenged Harvey to a kick- boxing contest one Saturday morning thinking that he would beat her easily.

I was supposed to get all the bots together in the main hangar.

Once the fight started, Leo got schooled.

Harvey kicked Leo so hard that he flew into a wall.

He never knew that Harvey had been taking kickboxing lessons since she was 10.

Leo was in the med- bay for** 2 **days.

**12. 52 Card Pickup is too confusing for Autobots.**

I decided to teach a few bots something new.

Harvey found me a deck of cards and a couple Autobots willing to do this.

*snickers*

I pulled out my deck of cards and shuffled them a little.

"So, here's how you play 52 Card Pickup guys,"

I dropped the WHOLE deck on the floor and Harvey and I waited to see if any bots would get the idea.

Red Alert, being the neat freak he is, got down on his hands and knees and picked up every single little card.

The others asked me why I dropped the cards on the floor and why Red Alert had to pick 'em up instead of me.

I explained to Ironhide, Red Alert, Mirage, and Hound that the whole point of the "game" was to drop a deck of cards and make the other person (or bots) pick them up.

**That's all for today folks! Sorry it's so short, I couldn't come up with a lot of good things today. Bye!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Living With Autobots**

**Chapter 4**

**By: angel apocaylptica**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Transformer in any way, shape, or form. All characters except for my OC's belong to Hasbro, not me. I am not making any money doing this either. Enjoy!**

**14. The Following YouTube videos are banned:**

Amazing Horse

Charlie the Unicorn

All Pewdiepie videos

Jerry the 2 legged horse

**15. NO PEWDIEPIE!**

(I was watching Pewdiepie videos with Harvey and Leo.)

(We blasted the volume so we could all hear.)

(Pewds just happened to be playing Amnesia: The Dark Descent.)

(Ironhide has a habit of watching the three of us when we're on the computer.)

(FUCK THIS SHIT!)

(The weapons specialist got an earful of Pewdiepie.)

(We got told on.)  
(That sucks.)

(Ironhide's face when he heard Pewds scream: priceless)

**16. Bitch fight!**

(Ratchet was yelling at Sideswipe about something and Sides was yelling back.)

(I went up to them and tapped Sides' knee)

(I put on my most innocent face.)

("Are you having a bitch fight?")

(Sides was on the floor almost bawling. Ratchet was not impressed.)

(That was one bad idea.)

**17. Do talk about blood and gore in front of Ratchet.**

(I was with Harvey and Sam in the rec room.)

(We were just talking randomly as usual.)

BOOOOMMMMM!

(Wheeljack had been showing off his new shrink ray…thingy.)

(It just blew up.)

(Ratchet came over looking all concerned, even though I annoy him to no end.)

("Are you guys okay?")

("I'm okay! I think my intestines are internally bleeding and I may have some bones sticking out of my skin and flesh! I feel totally fine!")

(I got a full body scan from Ratchet.)

(Not fun.)

(He grounded me for a whole week.)

**A/N: So, how's this story going so far? Do you love it? Send a review my way, trust me I feel really good when I get feedback from my readers. It helps me make future chapters better.**


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